It’s been quite a while since I posted last. I’ve been doing plenty of work on myself, my family, and of course, SonFire!
But I wanted to make this post because it’s a realization that I came to through much self-exploration, words from others, and worldly observations.
So this series, aptly titled “How to be OK!” is just that. I hope that it will serve as a manual for those of you who are going through hard times, and even those of you who are going through easy times.
How to Be OK!
It’s all based around one word… ACCEPTANCE. First lets touch on what acceptance is not. I want to completely dispel the notion that acceptance is, or can lead to, complacency. A mantra that my wife was given by one of her yoga instructors was “Care, but do not worry.” When I thought about this, it lead to realize that in order not to worry, I have to accept. Worry comes from fear, and the unwillingness to accept what might be. Ok so now, if I accept what might be (All possibilities of the future) then I am no longer worrying about it or afraid of it.
Another thing that acceptance is not, is apathy. It does not mean that I am perfectly ok where I’m at, coasting a long and that I should not need to strive for more. As humans, if we know better, we should do better. So the more I learn, the more I grow, the more I want to help others learn and grow with me, if they so choose. So acceptance doesn’t mean “Don’t try to do better…” You should always try to do better, to achieve more, to enhance your life, and the lives of those around you.
Now, acceptance can come across as very trite. “Just accept it!” Especially for those of you experiencing the loss of a loved one, or poor health, trauma of some sort (which, I’d like you to know that my thoughts are with you if you are experience unwelcome circumstances). I don’t want you to take this statement as a trite, unfeeling one. Remember, Care but do not worry! (There’s a big difference between caring and worrying) Acceptance, especially when paired with emotions, is almost never immediate. I know this and I don’t expect anyone to instantaneously accept trauma.
Acceptance however, is an antidote to fear and worry. So when we look at fear and worry, you have to ask yourself… what is anxiety? Anxiety is the combination of fear and worry… “What if…A?, what if…B?, what if…C?.” Ok so now… Change it to “I accept A, B, and C… and whichever one happens, or maybe a combination of them happen… I will still be OK, and who knows, what if things turn out perfectly fine or better?” So knowing that acceptance is an antidote to fear and worry… it is also an antidote to anxiety! Once we are no longer worried, fearful, or anxious, we can begin to trust our instincts again, and thrive in situations that would normally seem very dismal. Without fear, anxiety, or worry, we can operate at our optimal levels, to see things for what they are without clouded judgement, and also to see solutions to problems, or to look back at past experiences, learn from them, and apply that new knowledge to the current situation.
Stay tuned for the next post. How acceptance can be used to positively affect those around you!
God Bless, Namaste, I’ll see you soon!